You run the risk of being invisible which can be damaging to your career. You will be overlooked when it comes to promotions, raises, or special assignments. Try this mantra: I am smart and thoughtful and have a lot to contribute to my team and the organization. I would be clear and direct in my communication and not use minimizing language or find ways to soften my statements.
A lack of confidence makes it difficult to communicate assertively. You end your sentences with a question.
You use qualifying words such as kind of, sort of, which minimize the effect of what you are attempting to say. Your discomfort with assertive communication leads you to talk too much after making a strong statement instead of remaining quiet and waiting for input from others. The lack of conviction leads others to question your thinking and contributes to their perception that you are not a valued contributor. In fact, they may see you as a weak player.
Try this mantra: I am confident in my ability to communicate clearly and directly to others. The time you spend questioning yourself can be spent in a more productive way. The inner dialogue keeps you from taking positive action on your behalf or for others. You are too consumed with self-doubt to be proactive and therefore your only option is to be reactive. You may find yourself struggling with personal relationships and at work.
Sometimes it can just affect certain elements of your life. For example, you may feel confident with a few close friends but struggle in social situations.
When you are confident you are able to build upon your strengths, accept that you cannot be good at everything and accept support when needed. If you are struggling to do this, then lack of confidence could be an issue. Lack of confidence can arise from many events and influences, including those that made an impact upon you when you were young.
If you were discouraged to say what you felt or to make your needs clear, as you mature you may feel that you have less to offer than others. Sign up now or Log in. Definitions Clear explanations of natural written and spoken English. Click on the arrows to change the translation direction. Follow us. Choose a dictionary. Clear explanations of natural written and spoken English. Usage explanations of natural written and spoken English. Grammar Thesaurus. Word Lists. Choose your language.
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Cancel Submit. Your feedback will be reviewed. Aim to have at least 5 positive things on your list and add to it regularly. Then put your list somewhere you can see it. That way, you can keep reminding yourself that you're OK.
You might have low confidence now because of what happened when you were growing up, but we can grow and develop new ways of seeing ourselves at any age. We're all good at something, whether it's cooking, singing, doing puzzles or being a friend. We also tend to enjoy doing the things we're good at, which can help boost your mood. If you find certain people tend to bring you down, try to spend less time with them, or tell them how you feel about their words or actions. Being kind to yourself means being gentle to yourself at times when you feel like being self-critical.
Think what you'd say to a friend in a similar situation. We often give far better advice to others than we do to ourselves. Being assertive is about respecting other people's opinions and needs, and expecting the same from them.
It's not about pretending you're someone you're not. It's picking up hints and tips from people you admire and letting the real you come out. People with low self-esteem often feel they have to say yes to other people, even when they do not really want to. For the most part, saying no does not upset relationships.
It can be helpful to keep saying no, but in different ways, until they get the message. We all feel nervous or afraid to do things at times. But people with healthy self-esteem do not let these feelings stop them trying new things or taking on challenges. Set yourself a goal, such as joining an exercise class or going to a social occasion.
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